You might find that strengths can come from all sorts of unexpected places, whether with your work or personal life. Dating isn’t any different, and if you think it is, you’re thinking too small. When presented the right way, any skill you have can be marketable, regardless of how you’re trying to apply it. Maybe you’re well versed in a particular subject and you’re in the midst of trawling dating websites to meet British women, trying to impress with catchy pick-up lines. You might think that using your vast knowledge of ornithology wouldn’t be appealing to the women on dating sites like PlayNaughty.com. You have to view your knowledge of obscure or specific topics in a different way, though. Start by realizing that although the dinner and a movie formula is a tried and true favorite, it’s not going to get you from being a fun guy to being “the” guy, according to AskMen.com. You have to get more creative, and you can reinvent yourself as quirky and fun if you try the unexpected approach in the dating scene.
Identifying Your Specialty
The first thing you have to think about is what your specialty is. Some guys are more academic than others. If you’re in graduate school working on a higher, specialized degree, you should start using your specialization for more than just homework. Think of the papers you write as new content to use in your pick-up lines and messages. If your concentration is in British literature, for example, when you message a woman on a site like PlayNaughty.com, quote an obscure poem. Don’t go overboard with it, though. You have to somehow make your specialty relatable, and some are easier than others. Always maintain a sense of humor about your own work, though. Having a level of self awareness and the ability to be gently self-deprecating will take you far, especially if your specialty is intellectually lofty. You can always read a review and learn some new ideas. You can easily meet women online by reading online dating reviews and by choosing the right site.
The Fine Line Between Charm and Confusion
There’s a fine line between using your specialty to charm, or accidentally causing confusion. When you reference your special skill or talent, don’t forget that the woman you’re using it on is probably going to have no idea what you’re talking about. Maybe you’ll run into that one individual on one of the better dating websites to meet British women who knows as much about zoology as you do, but don’t plan on it. Making references that you think are clever but subtle isn’t going to cut it. The key is to highlight just how obscure or specialized your knowledge actually is. It’s the sheer quirkiness of the fact that you’re particularly well-versed in an obscure subject that makes that quirk attractive and helps you stand out. Quirky guys get lots of attention from women, so play that up. Don’t assume she’s going to understand a joke that references something specific in your field that only another expert would appreciate. There are probably also things she could talk about that you know nothing about, so just remember that anything she doesn’t get is going to be boring. The worst thing you can do as a single man trying to attract women is be boring. Don’t go over her head, keep your references simple and self-deprecating. Focus on how quirky you are, and not how clever.
How to Use It in Your Love Life
Applying certain areas of expertise or specific specialties like birdwatching are far easier to apply to a date, because you can relate it to more accessible interests like the outdoors. That’s how you go about planning how to go the extra mile to apply your specialty to your actual dating style. Think about how your expertise relates to a more common interest. If you’re a rocket scientist, talk about stars. Every woman like stars or stargazing. Keep your immense stock of knowledge on hold, but dip into it when appropriate. For example, if you’re going to use stargazing as a date idea, relate it to your expertise by throwing in an off-the-cuff comment about a specific star cluster. In that context, it’s interesting and it makes you sound clever. The difference is that if you’re just on a regular dinner date, if you start rambling about star clusters and black holes, it makes you sound either socially inept or pompous. The core value is to retain the common touch while still bringing a particularly gifted mind into play.
Matching Your Talents to Specific Women
It’s not especially hard to meet British women in this day and age using websites, but you have to figure out how to really woo them once they agree to go on a date. Standing out is hard, which is the whole idea behind using your obscure specialty to impress and grab a lady’s attention. However, that approach isn’t going to work unless you also match your date idea to the right woman.
Linking birdwatching to a more generally enjoyed activity like hiking, for example, is going to be great to win over a woman who likes the outdoors. On the other hand, it’s going to fail miserably if you meet a lady of the indoor persuasion. Don’t forget that you have to match up your specialty with the right interest. If you start with birdwatching as a beginning point again, instead of moving in an outdoors direction, try applying it to other contexts. For example, if you meet a woman who likes to stay inside, suggest going to a natural history museum. That really gives you ample opportunity to show her your chops, but museums are specifically designed for novices. There are plenty of text panels for her to read if she really wants to get into the details, but you can also be an unofficial tour guide. This can be fun, but only if you make sure it doesn’t sound like a lecture. Guys who specialize in a particular field or area of knowledge can sometimes ramble and forget that the person they’re talking to has no understanding of the subject. Don’t forget that, even if you find yourself in a more academic environment like a museum. It’s still supposed to be friendly and geared toward the uninitiated, and that’s exactly how your date approach should be.
When All Else Fails
If all else fails, go broke for the quirk factor. Women love an offbeat guy, and thanks to pop culture and romantic comedies, it’s an even more popular type of personality. Quirky men are the types women expect to be somewhat sensitive and a little off the wall, so go all in. Don’t act too crazy, but say that your entire life is about your specialty, and you’re trying to get out more and date. Play up the fact that you’re relatively helpless in the dating scene, but have a lot of heart. Women love a charity project if the only remake they have to do is giving you a little confidence boost. Women don’t like men that are mopey, but they do respond well to guys that are nervous but endearing. You can be endearing. All you have to do is go all in for the quirk, and then blame your shyness on the fact that all you do all day is think about binoculars and endangered woodpeckers.